


I Could Fall In Love

by manyakis



Category: Daenamhyup | DNH, iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manyakis/pseuds/manyakis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“At least we have something decent to look at,” Hanbin said, nudging his elder with his elbow.<br/>“What?” Jiwon asked. “What do you mean?”<br/>“Iron Hyung!”</p>
<p>Jiwon almost fell out of his seat. He thought Hanbin would make a comment about one of the girl contestants, or at least another male other than Iron. </p>
<p>“Well,” Hanbin continued. “Decent probably isn’t the right word.”<br/>“What would it be then?”<br/>“Fucking hot. What do you think?”</p>
<p>Jiwon turned and saw Iron not to far from them. He was a few rows behind him, but he could see him as clear as day. He didn’t stare for too long, it wasn’t until Iron look up and caught him staring, that he turned back to Hanbin. </p>
<p>“I-I don’t know,” He said, trying his best as to hide the blush growing on his cheeks. “Um…”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Fall In Love

Jiwon was anxious, he was on the edge of his chair, bouncing his foot off the ground as he watched the next competitor perform onstage. Over and over in his mind, he was going over his routine he had prepared for his turn. 

He was worried. 

What if he forgot his lyrics? What if he slipped and fell on stage? What if his performance wasn’t good enough and he was eliminated? If he made a mistake, it’d be all over the internet, and he’d wind up being a laughing stock. More than often he thought about just dropping out of the competition and never look back again. 

But then again, he would be giving up all he worked for. He came this far into the competition, so many people would kill for this spot, why would he back out now. 

“You okay?” Hanbin said from beside him.   
“Yeah,” Jiwon replied, taking a deep breath and scooted back into his chair. “I’m okay.”  
“Stop beating yourself up, Hyung. You’re gonna do great.”  
“I wasn’t beating myself up.”  
“Please. I’ve known you for years, I know when you’ve got something on your mind. And you’re not necessarily hard to read.” 

Slight agitation stirred in him. He hated when Hanbin did that, but he couldn’t blame him. He was never shy at telling his feelings, especially if he needed guidance if he couldn’t resolve his own problems. That’s what he cherished about Hanbin the most, despite being younger than him, Hanbin was always there for him. 

“At least we have something decent to look at,” Hanbin said, nudging his elder with his elbow.   
“What?” Jiwon asked. “What do you mean?”  
“Iron Hyung!”

Jiwon almost fell out of his seat. He thought Hanbin would make a comment about one of the girl contestants, or at least another male other than Iron. 

“Well,” Hanbin continued. “Decent probably isn’t the right word.”  
“What would it be then?”  
“Fucking hot. What do you think?”

Jiwon turned and saw Iron not to far from them. He was a few rows behind him, but he could see him as clear as day. He didn’t stare for too long, it wasn’t until Iron look up and caught him staring, that he turned back to Hanbin. 

“I-I don’t know,” He said, trying his best as to hide the blush growing on his cheeks. “Um…”  
“Yeah, maybe there aren’t any words to explain him, huh? I mean, he’s like a model isn’t he? It’s like he stepped out of a magazine.”  
“Ye..yeah. Hanbin, isn’t he your opponent?”  
“So? I can be his opponent and still think he’s hot.”

Suddenly, Jiwon felt a little jealous. Just listening to the way that Hanbin was talking about Iron like that, it made him want to bash the others head into a wall. How dare he talk about his Iron….

Oh...no...not his Iron. He wasn’t his anymore. 

 

____

 

Jiwon met Iron well into the competition. They were only on a “stage name” basis at that point, but the more they talked the closer they got. Even though they were competitors and on different teams, their bond got stronger based on their respect and love for the rap game. And soon enough, they learned their real names; while others called him Iron, Jiwon called him Hunchul. 

It was so obvious at how close they got, especially when they joked around and performed together on stage. They were clingy with each other, playfully hugging each other and being physically close. Onstage, they were respected friends. 

But off stage was a different story. 

One day after the show, Hunchul got Jiwon alone and he kissed him as a congratulations on his performance. To say it caught Jiwon off guard was an understatement. When Hunchul pulled away, he was bug eyed and his mouth hung open. 

At that moment, Hunchul regretted it. Right away he apologized and made a move to walk away, but before he could take another step, he was taken by the jacket and was pulled back in for another kiss. Jiwon held onto Hunchul’s jaw with his palms, sighing into the kiss as he felt the older hold him by the waist. Jiwon moved his hands, and ended up wrapping his arms around Hunchul’s neck, pulling him closer to his body - if that was humanly possible. 

A small gasp escaped Jiwon when he felt Hunchul bite his bottom lip a little. Jiwon opened his mouth, and let him in, allowing him to slide his tongue in easily. The smacking sounds of their lips were loud, but all Jiwon could hear was the sound of his own heart beating rapidly in his ears. 

Jiwon gasped again, loudly this time, when Hunchul pushed him up against the wall, not breaking the kiss. Jiwon couldn’t be more at peace than at this moment right now. He had been wanting to experience a kiss with Hunchul since they met, but he never thought that Hunchul would even want to even step in the same room as him, let alone place a kiss on his lips. 

He felt like the luckiest boy in the world. 

But then that bliss was invaded when he swore he heard something. Someone walking towards them, maybe? Someone was going to catch them in each other's arms, and that made Jiwon panic. 

He stopped, placing his hands on Hunchul's shoulders and pushed the older one away. 

“I’m sorry,” Hunchul said, stepping back; a sudden feeling of guilt in him. “I should have asked.”  
“No,” Jiwon said, clutching Hunchul’s leather jacket, stopping the older one from taking another step. “I-it’s okay, I just…..I-I thought someone was coming.”

 

After looking around briefly, he felt embarrassed. There was no one, no one was about to catch them. He sighed with relief knowing that they were safe from judging strangers, but that didn’t stop his cheeks from flaring red with humiliation.

In just a second, Hunchul’s lips were on his again for one more kiss.

“We can do this again if you want,” Hunchul asked, pulling away while giving Jiwon a smile of the Gods. “We’ll be more careful next time.”

Jiwon bit his lip, forcing himself to hide a shy smile. As much as he wanted to say no, he couldn’t help but say yes. He so desperately wanted to see Hunchul again.

Now, it was hard to take some alone time with each other with the competition, they had to focus on that first and foremost, and they had to work hard on their material. But when they saw the chance to be alone, they took it. 

Their one on one meetings were very physical. Pushing each other up against the wall, hands all over each other, stealing gross and sloppy kisses until they needed to separate to gather some air. They held onto each other, and stayed close to one another as if they would die with they let go. With the stress of the competition weighing on each other’s shoulders, it was what they needed. 

As time went on, they talked a lot more, got to know each other a lot better than before. Before they even knew it, they were moving to the next level. At some point, meeting backstage wasn’t enough for them. They needed to be somewhere comfortable, and safe from naysayers. 

So Hunchul invited Jiwon over to his place. 

But this time, it was different. They were on the couch, feet on the coffee table, Hunchul’s arm over Jiwon’s shoulder with a movie on the tv screen. Hunchul smiled when he heard Jiwon laughing at the movie, Jiwon’s laugh was so unique, it sounded innocent. it sounded like music to his ears. 

He stiffened when he felt Jiwon scooch closer to him, throwing an arm around his waist. Jiwon smiled, feeling his hyung’s heart rate pick up the pace as he pressed his face up against his chest. He wanted to giggle, but that might get him in a huge amount of trouble. He stayed quiet, relishing the moment they were having. 

And then he thought….was this a date? 

Jiwon began to go down the line of things they did since they got here: they ate together, they were watching a movie together, they cuddling on the couch and they were alone….together. 

“Hyung,” Jiwon said, pulling the other away from the movie. He took his arm back, and sat up on the couch, Hunchul’s arm slide off his shoulders. “Is this a date? I-I mean….are we dating?”  
“Do you want to?”

 

Jiwon thought for a second. They were having a great time, they enjoyed each other’s company, and he felt the best when he was with Hunchul. Every moment was more than a joy, and he wanted to share more moments with him. He nodded, his fluffy hair bouncing as he smiled his famous eye smile. 

“Yeah.”

 

They were together for a short while, until Jiwon started to get paranoid. He thought people were talking about him, when he and Hunchul were talking for a brief moment, he swore he saw people staring and whispering to each other. He thought people had figured them out.

So he tried to be more careful. 

He payed more attention to the competition, and he was more aware of the people around him and who was talking about him. 

But in the end, he ended up ignoring Hunchul completely. And Hunchul noticed it right away.

Jiwon was becoming distant, and cold. At some point, Hunchul put a hand on his back and Jiwon flinched away. Hunchul figured that Jiwon needed to space for now. With the pressure of the competition, he would need a breather. So he left him alone. 

But Jiwon barely spoke to him. He didn't even say him. The one on one meetings started to deteriorate into nothing. It was like Hunchul didn't exist anymore. 

The more Jiwon gave him the cold shoulder, the more frustrated Hunchul became. He needed to get to the bottom of it, he wasn't going to be in a relationship. 

Finally, he got a chance to get Jiwon one on one after the competition. Jiwon knew something bad was about to happen, he knew something was wrong, he could see it in Hunchul's walk. The energy around him was down so low, Jiwon was afraid he could explode at any moment. 

"Is there something wrong?" Hunchul asked, once he knew they were alone.   
"I...w-what do you mean?" Jiwon asked.   
"What do I mean? You've been ignoring me this entire time; you barely even look at me let alone talk to me, we don't see each other anymore....I used to think it was just because of the competition, but I mean....I can't even touch your shoulder without feeling like I'm scaring you away."

All the while Jiwon was distracted. Even if they were alone, he couldn't help but feel like someone was always behind them. Ready to catch them in the "act" and tell their secret. 

"Jiwon," Hunchul said, grabbing the younger one from distraction. "Are you even listening!?" 

In an instant, there was guilt on the younger one's shoulders. He bowed his head, sighing with regret. He knew he was ignoring his Hyung, but for his own good reason. 

"I'm sorry, Hyung," Jiwon whispered.  
"Jiwon," Hunchul said. "If there's something wrong, please tell me so we can work it out together. Was it something I did, or said?"  
"No! You didn't do anything."  
"Is it...someone else?"  
"What!? No!"  
"Do you want to see someone else?"  
"No!"  
"Do you want to break up?"  
"Ye-"

They froze in place, shock written in both of their faces. Even Jiwon himself couldn't believe what he just said - or at least, almost said. 

"You...you want to break up?" Hunchul asked. It was clear in his voice; Jiwon could ssee it in his body language, his heart was slowly breaking. And you could almost hear it shattering to pieces when Jiwon nodded. "Can I at least know why?"  
"Hyung....no one is going to be okay with us dating. I mean....when has it been okay? Anybody gets reported dating gets bad messages sent to them or gets bullied by fans or their company forces them to stop. And let's face it, it's not really a well liked thing...what we're into, you know? And neither of us is going to want to go back and forth in secrecy, behind our friends backs? Hiding from fans and saesangs so there's scandals and rumors don't pop up?"  
"So...what? You never thought to come to me about it? You didn't think I would have actually tried to do all of that?"  
"You would have gone through all of that trouble?"  
"Well, I would at least like to...I don't know, have some sort of option, maybe? A game plan? Anything to make it work."  
"Why? Why would you want to risk everything?"  
"Why?" 

It was clear that Jiwon didn't understand. Hunchul would have tried, given the chance to talk about it. Why would he agree to start a relationship if he wasn't going to try. But Jiwon....it looked like Jiwon didn't even want to make an effort.

"See you around, Bobby." 

 

____

 

And it's been nothing but hell since then. Each day that last, Jiwon had to remind himself that this was what he wanted. This was for the best for him and for Hunchul. 

But with each day that passed, he also couldn't help but miss the independent rapper. He missed Hunchul's touch, his pouty lips on his own, his firm body close to his. And even more so, he missed talking to him. He kept him sane in the midst of work, he kept him at ease when no one else.

He missed him, and watching his performance against Hanbin wasn't helping at all. 

Even though parts of Hunchul's performance was calm and together, there were some parts that seemed so angry. And Jiwon couldn't help but feel like he was the cause of his anger. He couldn't blame the older for being so angry...they didn't necessarily end their relationship on good terms. 

Now the pain worse to even be in the same room as Hunchul. It was more awkward than when they were together. Jiwon felt guilty. It shouldn't have ended in such a bad way.

In fact....maybe it shouldn't have ended at all.

Why didn't Jiwon make an effort? Why didn't he give it a chance? What was the point of getting into something with Iron if he was going to back out in such a piss poor manner? He should have at least tried, should have at made some sort of effort. 

Jiwon had never regretted something so much in his life until now. He knew, because of his lack of efforts, he lost something....someone so amazing. And he doubt he was ever going to get him back. 

 

It was down to the final two competitors. And wouldn't you know it, Jiwon was up against Hunchul. It was like God was mocking him, laughing as he felt like he was about to break out of his skin from insanity. 

Jiwon could barely stand still as he and Hunchul stood on stage. His chest was pounding in his ears, the muscles on his bones were shaking. He had never been more on edge than here and now. 

When Jiwon won, he lost all feeling in his legs. He collapsed onto his knees, breathing hard as all of these emotions stirred inside of his young body.

He was overwhelmed. Backstage, people were coming up to him, giving him hugs and congratulating him on his achievement. But even though he was showered with commendations and admirations, even though this was probably the greatest attainment in his young career, he didn’t feel like he should be bouncing off the walls with merriment. 

There was something missing. 

There was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to the surprise of Hunchul standing before him. He wore a soft and gentle smile on his face, meanwhile Jiwon probably looked like The Scream painting. 

“Congratulations,” Hunchul said, bowing to him. “You deserve it.”

Hunchul held out his hand, wanting to shake Jiwon’s. Not wanting to be rude, Jiwon grabbed Hunchul’s hand and shook it firmly, letting out a timid thank you. When he touched skin with Hunchul, he felt a familiar spark inside of him. A feeling he once had whenever Hunchul touched him, previously. A feeling he missed. 

There was a tightness in his chest as he watched Hunchul walk away. He so desperately wanted to run after him, to grab him and hold him like before and never let go. But despite his feelings and his remorse for his actions, there was lack of belief that Hunchul was ever going to look his way again. 

“You should go for him.”

Jiwon didn’t even know someone was beside him until a voice pulled him out of his opposed feelings. He fell in even more shock when he realized that his senior, Lee Seongwoon was standing next to him. 

“W-What do you mean?”  
“You’d make a cute couple.”  
“I-I’m sorry...you mean m-me and Iron Hyung?”  
“You want some unasked advice? Take the plunge. I know stepping into a relationship is scary; especially in your guys’ case. But it’s hard to ignore what you feel for somebody.”  
“How did you know?”  
“You look at him the same why I looked at my Hyejung.”  
“I didn’t think….you’d give me advice like this.”  
“I don’t care, man. Love is what it is.”  
“I-I don’t know about love, just yet.”  
“Well whatever it is, whatever the issue is...talk to him about it. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s easier than living with the regret because of not talking to each other at all.”

Jiwon thought about it as he saw Hunchul talking to someone from across the room. He knew Seongwoon was right, he should talk to Hunchul about it. Even if Hunchul turned him down and walked away, at least he wouldn’t have this feeling of remorse anymore. Or at least he might feel less of it. 

After thanking Seongwoon for his advice, he put on a brave face and treaded over to Hunchul. The person Hunchul was talking with noticed Jiwon walking over, and pointed him out to Hunchul. Hunchul turned around, a look of confusion on his face as Jiwon walked up to him. 

“Can we talk?” Jiwon asked. “Alone...please?”

Hunchul hesitated, but he nodded to Jiwon. Jiwon guided him away from the crowd. Jiwon walked fast, he had been wanting get this out for a while now, and he couldn’t wait a second longer. 

“Hold on!” Hunchul declared, trying to keep up with Jiwon. He was relieved when they were finally alone. “What is going on?”  
“Hyung,” Jiwon said, a mix of emotions exploding from inside of him. “Hyung, I’m...I’m sorry…”  
“Sorry for what?”  
“You didn’t deserve what I did to you. I mean...I agreed to date, and for what? I just wasted your time, and I didn’t even make an effort to make it work when I should have done something to at least show you how much I wanted it. But I was scared. I-I’m still scared! I’m scared of...of people finding out, and rumors and accusations about us starting. I’m scared of bullying and people just getting angry about us. I didn’t want our friends to think differently about us, and I didn’t want you to lose a friend or...I don’t know...maybe even your job because of me. You deserved so much more than that, you deserve someone who isn’t afraid to be with you. I’m sorry Hyung.”  
"Jiwon,” Huncul said. “Stop apologizing, okay? I get it....I know I was mad before but I thought it over. I understand, okay? You have every right to feel that way.”  
“I still should have done something instead of give you a half assed relationship. But…”  
“What is it?”  
“I’ve been….thinking about it for a long time and…I really want to be with you Hyung. I really want to make an effort and show you how much I want to make it work.”

Hunchul gripped the sides of Jiwon’s face with his hands and pressed his lips against Jiwon’s, taking the younger one off guard. In an instant, all of the old feelings came flooding back. Hunchul held Jiwon there for a few moments before pulling away from him. 

“I’m going to try this time….I promise.”


End file.
